Rutgers Prep Food Culture

Dear my Lord:

        It has been my third day in Rutgers Preparatory School, and I want to give you my first report of what they called “food” here.

Every morning, I see students hold coffee and bagels in their hands, rushing back and forth between different classrooms, but barely eat anything. It seems here, this oddball species doesn’t regard predation as their top priority but education (which seems like terribly useless and time wasted to me at least). So if, your majesty, want to occupy this planet next year, morning will just be a great time to attack.

But then, after two classes, students here normally have something called nosh, which usually is a period of time for them to have some snacks. Some students choose to go to candy machine to buy some junks while others may eat or drink what they have left from morning. Last Friday, I followed a senior to her homeroom, and guess what? All students in that room were complaining of hunger, from the very beginning to the end of period. They said their advisor never bring them food, which in my eyes, was the cruelest thing I have ever seen.

During 12:00-1:15, upper school students are allowed to have lunch in their Dinning Common. And if I have to use only one word to characterize the lunch in Rutgers Prep, that would be mixed. With the aroma of French fries and pasta, and the vapor of Chinese Mushroom soup and Italian Meatball soup, students seem to have many choices. Nonetheless, they don’t usually look satisfied; they either eat quite fast like completing missions or chat sedulously with people around them. Based on my two days’ observation, almost nobody in this school seems to wholeheartedly enjoy or appreciate the foods presented in front of them, which also confirms our expectation. Human species is greedy and hardly feel “grateful”.

        In conclusion, the students and faculty of Rutgers Prep seems to be neglect to the culture behind the food. So I recommend you, my dearest lord, to overtake this school by using our special foods to control the people here (we can make them look like regular pasta) and gradually turn the school to our military base. We can then show them how extensive and profound our food culture is.